Who Will Save Your Soul?
by RaeSl88
Summary: She pretended not to hear the sharp intake of breath. Pretended not to feel him shaking, in disbelief or because of the drugs she wasn't sure. Did he feel it? That nagging, gut wrenching pain of not knowing how to cope when she was gone? That's what it felt like, every day. That's what he made her feel when he stopped caring.
1. Chapter 1

**Who Will Save Your Soul**

Prologue:

She spotted him just beyond the worn blacktop, sitting on a weathered picnic table beneath the tree as she'd asked him to. Honestly she was surprised he showed up…with his proven track record she doubted he would arrive before her, if not at all. But there he was, looking like proverbial shit; dirty clothes, greasy hair, signs of the path he chose. His appearance matched the gloomy overcast as soon the clouds would open and pour rain down upon them. He'd left just enough space for her to sit on the corner, enough space between them that was comfortable to be important to the cause. No way would she let his touch deter her from what she needed to do.

She's going to break his heart…

They were passed the pretense of selfish need to be in the presence of one another. Where once, just the sight of him caused her body to come alive…clearly leading to fumbling hands and passionate kisses. Knowing that they never should have crossed that thin line but not giving a damn. And while she wished to hold on to that, the boy that she loved was dead.

He'd broken her heart many times - so to say she was worried about how he'd take it would mean she cared.

"Hey." His voice grated on her ears like sandpaper, where it once reminded her of silk. Funny, he could barely look at her. She didn't want to be pleasant. She didn't want his greeting or anything from him anymore. After what he'd put her through….

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted the reminder of why the decision was final. The plastic bracelet around his wrist… that he'd been close to death and didn't care enough to take it off before he returned to what landed him there in the first place.

…She needed to do it now.

"I'm leaving." The words tumble forth through her dry lips.

She pretended not to hear the sharp intake of breath. Pretended not to feel him shaking, in disbelief or because of the drugs she wasn't sure. Did he feel it? That nagging, gut wrenching pain of not knowing how to cope when she was gone? That's what it felt like, every day **.** That's what he made her feel when he stopped caring.

"You promised." His eyes bore into the side of her face. She refused to look at him, holding strong as he crumbled beside her. "I…I'm trying to get better. I-"His voice broke at the end. Grabbing onto his dirty hair he pulled. Edward knew then as the poison in his veins sent his emotions running high that he had truly lost.

"You promised Bella!"

He's right. She did promise.

With his head against her chest and her arms around him, she promised never to abandon him...

Her knees shook as she stood looking down on the stranger that had taken her best friend away. "I lied."

She walked away, just as the sky opened and poured down a heavy spring rain. Bella couldn't save him because he didn't want to be saved. She left him there looking toward her future because if she didn't, he would take her down with him.

And that wasn't happening.

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A/N: Welcome! Depending on the response I may add more frequently but I make no promises. This is a WIP. I am prepared for the onslaught of comments telling me they hate the characters. I like angst, so be prepared.

Until next time…


	2. Chapter 2

_2\. Four Years Earlier…_

She watched the sunset from her perch on the roof. With a cigarette to her lips she savored the moment of quiet. Her neighborhood was weirdly deserted so close to twilight, but then contrary to popular belief not much happened on that side of town. Usually there was a kid or two running around wreaking havoc or a random neighbor stumbling around drunk. Some sort of ruckus that displayed the squalor of their living conditions. Bella for much of her life lived on the outskirts of the little town of Forks in what most described as a slum. Poor families lived in the slum; an overcrowded "urban" district that the _richies_ of Forks tried to overlook. Always scraping to get by…Never given a chance because of what people thought they knew about them. To be honest, there were more decent people living in the slum than the fuckers who were running shit.

" _You have_ _no positive role models to look up to. You will be a statistic of your environment."_ This had been told to her by her ninth grade counselor, Mrs. Stanley.

After telling her to politely fuck off, Bella stopped caring about the judgmental bastards of her town and started to live her life the way she wanted to. That was her reality…until a week ago.

" **I EXPECT YOU HOME RENEE!"**

She could hear the yelling from downstairs. Sighing, Bella put out the last of her cigarette. Climbing back through her bedroom window the voices were more distinct. The fight was just starting she supposed because the asshole was sleeping when she climbed out onto the roof earlier. It didn't matter either way; she wasn't sticking around to watch the outcome.

Bella threw her hair into a messy bun, shrugged a camo jacket over her baggy t-shirt and added a belt to her even baggier jeans; grabbed her cigarettes and house key and made the trek downstairs. The scene before her was the same. Steve standing over her mother as she cowered away on the couch. The only difference today was the baby in her arms; he was the only thing keeping her safe from his fists.

" **I HAVE BEEN HOME! I'M HOME ALL THE FUCKING TIME NOW! IT'S NOT FAIR THAT I HAVE TO BE STUCK IN THIS SHITHOLE ALL DAY WHILE YOU'RE OUT DOING GOD KNOWS WHAT!"**

Steve stood to his full height running his fingers through his shaggy blonde hair in frustration. **"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TAKING CARE OF MY SON YOU DUMB WHORE!"**

" **WHY CAN'T YOU TAKE CARE OF HIM SOMETIMES?"**

They were both pathetic. The only innocent was her baby brother Dustin, who at five months old was so used to all the yelling and screaming it no longer fazed him. Bella bypassed them and went into the kitchen to grab a soda before setting off for the door.

"Where the fuck you goin?" Steve moved into her path.

"Out."

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to him. Bella snatched away and looked over at her mother. Renee contemplated speaking up but quickly decided Bella could take care of it. She could stand up to Steve without fear. Renee on the other hand was powerless to protect herself much less her kids.

"You think cause you're seventeen now you can come and go as you please? And dressed like that?" He pointed to her clothes as if they offended him. It was no different from anything she wore on a regular basis.

"Your point?" She drawled staring him square in the eyes.

At one time she would have considered Steve handsome. Like a young Brad Pitt, but way more dirty and unrefined. He came into Bella's life when she was ten years old and was unfortunately the only shitty father figure she had.

At least he was constant.

As abusive as he was they were his only family and he loved them. But he was a raging alcoholic who liked to beat on his girlfriend and assert his position as a man onto them to make himself feel better.

"My point you little shit is you ask if you can leave this house. And where are you goin anyway? It's fuckin' dark outside!" Bella knew he was looking for a fight. He wasn't getting one.

"Renee, call off your attack dog so I can leave."

"Where are you going baby?" Her mother asked.

"What's with the fake concern all of a sudden? I'm going to Jake's."

Steve wouldn't budge. "Why do you dress like that? You're a girl; you should look like a girl."

"Would you rather I walk around looking like her?" She pointed to her mother who was dressed in the tiniest shorts known to man and a halter top no woman her age should wear. At 36, Renee was trying to hold on to her youth as long as she could. She hadn't quite gotten her figure back from her pregnancy but it didn't matter, it wasn't like they had money for things like clothes. There wasn't money for anything.

"Well the good thing is you don't have to look at me. Now get the fuck out of my way."

"This is my fucking house!" Steve roared stepping closer.

Bella didn't back down. Unlike her mother, she wasn't afraid of Steve or his empty threats. "You might pay the bills around here, but you don't own me asshole. I'll do whatever the fuck I want."

"You gonna let her talk like this to me Renee?" Steve looked to his girlfriend.

"Bella-"Her mother started. Bella leveled her with a glare that shut her up.

" _ **AND**_ you're not my dad, so back the fuck off!

He grabbed the collar of her shirt. "Who the fuck do you think you are? You better learn some respect before I-"

"Before you what, beat me?" She stared him down. "You won't fucking touch me. Remember the last time you called yourself teaching me a lesson? I'll fucking do it, but this time I'll make sure you can't use that hand ever again."

A couple years back Bella found herself on the wrong side of Steve's fist. He was drunk and uncoordinated so she was able to slam his hand in the front door. She threatened him even then never to lay a hand on her again or she would do more than that. He'd taken heed to her word, and he knew she meant every word.

He let her go and Bella turned for the door. "You can beat on Renee all you want if that makes you feel like a man, but if you touch one hair on my brother's head you won't only lose your hand, I'll make sure you can't use your filthy dick to ever reproduce again. Got it asshole!" She turned to her mother. "Dusty's bottles are in the fridge. Don't forget to fucking feed him Renee."

She walked out of the house, slamming the door behind her.

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A/N: Short and sweet. I'll be back!

Until next time…


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

 _Italics_ mean flashback

Enjoy!

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3.

The party was growing downstairs. The bastard lied saying he only invited a few friends over. It seemed all of Forks elite were trying to cram themselves into Jakes backyard.

She didn't get along with many people.

They treated her like a pariah.

When she was younger it hurt to be ostracized from her peers because they wouldn't acknowledge her existence. She soon found that she enjoyed being in the shadows, observing them instead of being in the forefront where they could scrutinize. Especially now with the turn of events she didn't want to face anyone. It wasn't the fear of being disliked; it was the judgement, the questions, the ridicule that was sure to follow.

That's what she hated about living in a small town, your business was everyone's business.

"Yo B! Come outside, it's getting live!" Jake burst into his room with exuberance. He lived to party and with his father out of town visiting family he was left to his own devices. Bella was unsure as to why Billy would trust his son to behave, then again she was sure Billy knew that he wouldn't.

They had that kind of relationship, just like Bella and her mom. Strained and tattered through the years. The sins of the parents fall back on the children.

"I'm good." Bella swiped a few tendrils of hair from her face that had fallen.

Jake molded himself to her back. He had gone through a growth spurt and now used it to his advantage by throwing his big body all over her. She didn't mind, he was like a brother to her. They took care of each other.

"Nobody is going to say anything to you. I thought you didn't care about those fuckers."

"I don't but- "There's no way he could understand.

He tugged her around to face him. "Let's have a good time then. I'll take care of you." Bella rolled her eyes. Sure he would, until Leah came along and they disappeared.

He took her hand and led her downstairs into the chaos. The music was so loud it gave her a headache and slowly ate away at her buzz. Speaking of eating, she was starving. She pulled back on his arm, "I'm gonna grab something from the kitchen."

He winked and left her. She didn't see many faces she recognized amongst the drunken crowd. Jake had friends all over Washington State; there's no telling how far the assholes came from with the promise of free booze and food.

He lived smack dab between town and the slum and was the kind of guy everyone liked. He wasn't rich or poor so he somehow was able to fit anywhere. He was a good guy though, accepting of everyone. That's how they met. Second grade the kids were picking on her, which was a normal occurrence. Jessica Stanley pushed her down in the mud and ran away laughing with her stupid friends. Jake came over and helped her up, somehow found her a change of clothes and gave her a peanut butter and Jelly sandwich.

They've been best friends ever since.

She raided his fridge until she found a bowl of left over spaghetti. The ethical thing would be to spoon some out onto a plate, but the good thing about Bella was she didn't give a fuck. She put the entire bowl into the microwave and stood guard.

A group of girls passed by, sneering in her direction as they grabbed a few beers. _It could be worse,_ she thought as looks of disgust weren't new to her. It'd been about a week since the incident and she'd gone into hiding. Now she was being gawked at by both sides, alone in the middle to deal with the consequences of her birth...

 _With summer on it's last leg, the little town of Forks was full swing into their annual festival of Forks' founder, William " Wylie " Swan. People came from all over Washington State to partake in the commemorative three-day event each year, always held just before the start of the new school year. Everyone would gather in the town square for rides, food, and music._

 _It was less thrilling for Bella as she hung back with Jake and their friends to share a doobie in Luke's Diner parking lot across from the festivities. She hadn't attended the previous two nights because she was stuck babysitting Dustin while Steve and Renee worked. She was able to get away tonight because her neighbor Ms. Valerie volunteered to watch him. She was her friend Victoria's mom so Bella figured she was pretty trustworthy to take extra good care of him._

" _So I told her, take your panties off and let me see how deep my fingers can go." Quil held up his two middle fingers and smelled them._

 _Bella frowned. "That's disgusting. You stuck your fingers up Rebecca Mallory's snatch? You might want to get those fingers checked for rabies. I heard she's got a fire crotch." She took a swig of her beer as her friends laughed at her._

" _Quit being a hater B! You're just mad no one is sticking anything in your puss!" Victoria knocked Bella in the side with her elbow causing another round of laughter between the friends._

" _Fuck you."_

" _That's not what I heard! B is still fucking Newton." James was always running his mouth. Him and Vickie always had their noses in gossip._

" _I am not fucking Newton. He's with Stanley. They're like gonna get married and shit."_

" _He could definitely do better than Stanley. I fucked her once and she just laid there." Quil simulated a horrible reenactment of Jessica Stanley laying comatose on her back while he pumped his hips._

" _Who haven't you fucked Quil?" Bella replied shaking her head in disbelief._

" _You."_

" _I meant that rhetorically, dumbass!"_

" _You never fucked me either asshole!" Victoria slapped the back of his head._

 _There was a rousing round of applause for the beloved figurehead of their town who made his way through the throngs of people lining the street. Charles Swan walked with so much poise, so refined with his blonde wife Tanya and daughter Rosalie beside him. The picture perfect family._

 _Yeah, right!_

 _He stood at the podium waving to everyone, soaking up the glory of his station. "On behalf of the City of Forks, and as your Mayor, I am so happy to be amongst all of you great people. My great, great grandfather Wylie Swan built this city from the ground up. He made this a safe place for people to raise their families. Without his generosity and dedication, we wouldn't be here today."_

 _People applauded his fake appreciation. This was all a charade to commence his campaign announcement that he would be running for a second term. "Now is the time for leadership grown out of taking on the city's toughest challenges and winning. That's what I've done. And that's what I'll continue to do if I am re-elected as your mayor."_

 _And there you have it…Straight to the point. Bella had to give him credit for that._

" _This is where I grew up, where I was married, where I went to school and where my daughter attends school today. This is where I have lived my life and followed my family's tradition of community-based public service. I know what this city is, I know what it has been, and I know what it can still become. I thank you for coming out to celebrate this monumental event with us."_

 _Suddenly there was a commotion off to the side of the stage. Bella couldn't quite see what was going on, but it didn't take long before all hell broke loose._

" _Yo B, is that your mom?" Jake pointed at the crowd rapidly growing in size._

" _Shit!" Bella immediately recognized the screaming voice belonging to Renee._

" _Fuck you Charlie Swan! What about your kid you never claim huh? What about her? What about our baby Charlie! You lying mother fucker!"_

 _She took off in her mother's direction. "Fuck Renee, couldn't you lay off the booze for one night!" By the time Bella grabbed her mother she knew the damage had been done. Renee was on a fucking roll. "Yeah I was your dirty little secret right? Well look! Look at her! She looks just like you!" Renee pushed Bella in the direction of Charlie Swan._

 _If looks could kill, Renee would be in a pool of her blood._

" _Stop it! Let's go!" Bella wrapped her arms around her mother's waist attempting to calm her enough to move from the crowd of spectators eating up every word that came from her mouth._

" _I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up. Your daddy didn't want you because of me."_

 _Bella refused to let anyone see how her mother's words affected her. She knew they were judging, and she knew she would pay for it._

 _Bella was Mayor Swan's daughter that he didn't claim._

 _Now everyone knew…._

 _His Sr. Advisor, Carlisle Cullen, moved to reestablish order. "Please everyone, please get back to the festival! Nothing to see here!"_

 _The damage had been done._

" _Fuck him! I took care of you the best I could."_

" _Let's go mom. Where's Steve?" Her no good boyfriend was somewhere drunk without a care in the world. Bella wondered how mad he was going to be once he found out Renee spilled the beans._

 _Bella signaled at Jake to help her move her mom to his car. With ease he picked Renee up and moved her out of the crowd._

 _It left Bella there by herself. The only person in her line of sight being Charlie Swan. He looked down upon her with disdain…Funny that he could hate her so much when if he would have just kept his dick in his pants he could have avoided all of this. He knew about Renee's reputation and he still made his choice._

 _No amount of covering it up would change anything. Bella was the living proof._

 _She had nothing to say to the asshole…She wouldn't scream and holler like her mother did. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction to know that his blatant absence from her life was fucked up. And as she turned her back and walked out of the crowd Bella raised her middle finger to the sky, letting them all know Charlie Swan could kiss her ass._

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A/N: There is a lot more to the story. Hope you will stay tuned…We will get to the good stuff eventually.


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